I discovered the other day that the vocabulary that I had when I was around the age of 14 is far greater than the vocabulary I have now, even if it is slowly improving. Coupled with this is the quality of my writing. Where has my imagination gone? I found things that I wrote years ago that I think are far better than anything I've written recently, and I wouldn't even think of things like that anymore. Mind you, some of it was still pretty awful. The true reason probably isn't that anything has changed as such, more that I used to write a hell of a lot more than I do now.

Yep, some were awful - just found some characters' names from one story: I watched as he stepped away from the bar, and I followed him out of the restaurant. I loathed the way he walked, hated the way he talked. Lord Bvroutagn, Jacob Odayas, Jezebela Lameth Taylor.

-snorts-

I'm truly ashamed of those ones.

However some of it was better, I found a short story I wrote called Newprint on my hands, and it's not bad. Not wonderful, but I doubt I'd think of something like it now.

Newsprint on my hands

I watched as he stepped away from the bar, and I followed him out of the restaurant. I loathed the way he walked, hated the way he talked.

I had vowed my revenge.

It didn’t used to be like this. But then, I used to have my family. My mother, father, brother, and two sisters. Katie and Louise – twins. Five years old. Rick was 19, and planning on a job in the media. I was the middle child. I was 17. He was once a family friend. We put all our trust in him. That was our downfall. He tore us from one another. Then? He squashed us like ants.

One.

By.

One.

Mother and father were probably as close as you could be to another person. He changed that. My father was the first to falter under his grip. Started suspecting my mother of doing things she shouldn’t have done. You know, being unfaithful. She never was. He had planted the clues, and my father never found out she was innocent. My mother? She had an accident on the way back from his. It was a car crash, faulty breaks.

Next was my brother. Became lost in the woods near where he lives. We never saw my brother again.

There had been a lot of arguments between my father and I at this point. I think it was loosing two family members in less than 6 months that was putting the strain there. My sisters just thought that their missing relatives had gone on holiday. He told them about a magic holiday camp where the faeries live. They went out the next day, and never came back.

My father and I were distraught. Soon after, I got my school report card. I had failed a number of subjects due to the ‘unsettled condition’ my family was in. What family? There were two of us left. My father had started drinking at that point. In fact, my father went to the same bar as the one I had just seen him walk out of. They would go out and drink together, my father and he. I never saw him get drunk. So he could drive my father home safely was what he said. Then, one day, I saw my father packing a bag in his room. That day was the last time I saw my father. That day was the day I put everything together. The day I swore revenge.

I followed him down an avenue about a mile from our house, and stayed in the shadows as he lit a cigarette. I remember how he chuckled to himself, muttering something about a will. I never understood his motive for ripping our family apart, maybe that was a clue. I also remember drawing nearer to him, picking up a piece of newspaper off the ground and rolling it up. Then everything went dark, I don’t remember anymore.

Two days later there was a van outside his home, and a for sale sign in his garden. A knock at my door.

It was a solicitor, who called himself Mr Phillips. He told me that my parents had left a will, and that if anything happened to them, he would get everything until we were old enough to claim our share. When we were 18. Rick could have already claimed his, and I could have in a year’s time. He then told me that he had been found dead in an avenue not far from here a few days ago.

-----

I often walk past the park that our family used to go to. Back in the days when we were all here. I bend down and pick up a piece of paper off the ground, and quickly scan it. A ‘contacts’ page from a magazine. As I look over the names, I notice one that’s familiar. Robert Jones, searching for his daughter. A tear falls from my eye, and I wipe it off with one hand. Then I notice something, something I also noticed the night it all went blank.

Newsprint on my hands.

 

--------------------------------------------------
 

On another random note, I've just looked at how much I've got left to revise. There is no way I'm going to get all that done.

Yeah, ignore the title of this entry, I couldn't think of anything else to put there. ^__^.

I've been off school all this week sick. It started out as a sore throat then progressed into one of the worst coughs I've had in a long time (though not as bad as the one I had in year 9) and now it seems to have progressed into the early stages of tonsilitus. I say this because I went to see the doctor after it had kept up for a week and she gave me some antibiotics to reduce the swelling of one of my tonsils. She said that if it gets worse, I'm to go back. Fortunately it's not been getting worse, it's been getting better. I've hardly coughed at all today, the only problem I have now is the antibiotics making me feel sick.

Mum has been getting at me to start revising, and whilst I do agree that I need to get on with it, I hate her telling me about it! I know it sounds childish, but the more she tells me to revise, the less I want to do. I feel that it's something I need to do on my own, without her hovering over everything. I revised some more biology today, so my list got updated (you'll see there's something BLUE *\o/*). One of the problems with missing school last week is I only have four days left of it, as Monday is bank holiday. So I have four days to complete the biology and chemistry syllabus, and catch up with what I missed. I don't think I missed that much normal homework though.

HOL work has obviously suffered with me being sick again. HOW MANY TIMES AM I GETTING COLDS THIS YEAR? It's rediculous. Parents are blaming a lack of fruit, but my diet hasn't changed at all in the last few years. Never have I had a year this bad. So yeah, I'm behind with my HOL work, having neither done the april homeworks nor put up any lessons for my own classes yet. I'M SORRY >_<"

I did start to teach myself some more kanji this week, so it hasn't all gone to waste. I found an application on facebook called Kanji Box and although I can't test myself on vocab or reading (not knowing any Japanese), I could revise hiragana and katakana, and start drilling some kanji into my brain. I think I know just over 80 kanji now, and my hiragana is mostly good. Need to learn katakana though :P On a random note, I also read The Champion by Elizabeth Chadwick. Rachael was round on Saturday and said she's going to leave a load of books by the same person for Mandy to bring over next time. ^____^.

Hmm, just realised that I'll finish my antibiotics course the day of my General Studies AS level. I hope I'm not feeling this bad then, or my concentration will be all over the place. Not that I have any clue whatsoever about what I'm doing in my exam, but I'd at least like to be able to concentrate.

Dad and Olivia spent the afternoon putting up the new tent. I wish I had a camera to put up some pictures. It was rather funny XD.

There's still no way I'm going camping though <_<.

Ok on this one I only added the heart, but the sig is all mine :D

I got the original images from here - http://community.livejournal.com/jdorama/tag/hanazakari+no+kimitachi+he

My revision list:

Coloured Black - Not Revised
Coloured Red - Revised Once
Coloured Blue - Revised Twice
Coloured Green - Revised Three Times

Biology - Paper 1

Causes of Disease
   - Pathogens
   - Data and Disease
   - Lifestyle and Health

Enzymes and the Digestive System
   - Enzymes and Digestion
   - Monosaccharides
   - Disaccharaides and Polysaccharides
   - Carbohydrate Digestion
   - Proteins
   - Enzyme Action
   - Factors affecting Enzyme action

Cells and Movement In and Out of Them
   - Structure of Cells
   - Electron Microscope
   - Structure of Epithelial Cell
   - Lipids
   - Cell-Surface Membrane
   - Diffusion
   - Osmosis
   - Active Transport
   - Absorpion in the Small Intestine
   - Cholera
   - Oral Rehydration Therapy

Lungs and Lung Disease
   - Structure of Human Gas-Exchange System
   - Mechanism of Breathing
   - Exchange of Gases in the Lungs
   - Pulmonary Tuberculosis
   - Fibrosis, Asthma and Emphysema

The Heart and Heart Disease
   - Structure of the Heart
   - Cardiac Cycle
   - Heart Disease

Immunity
   - Defence Mechanisms
   - Phagocytosis
   - T Cells and Cell-Mediated Immunity
   - B Cells and Humoral Immunity
   - Antibodies
   - Vaccination

Biology - Paper 2

Variation
   - Investigating Variation
   - Types of Variation

DNA and Meiosis
   - Structure of DNA
   - Triplet Code
   - DNA and Chromosomes
   - Meiosis and Genetic Variation

Genetic Diversity
   - Genetic Diversity and the Influences on it

The Variety of Life
   - Haemoglobin
   - Oxygen Dissociation Curves
   - Starch, Glycogen and Cellulose
   - Plant Cell Structure

The Cell Cycle
   - Replication of DNA
   - Mitosis
   - The Cell Cycle

Cellular Organisation
   - Cell Differentiation and Organisation

Exchange and Transport
    - Exchange Between Organisms and Their Environment
   - Gas Exchange in Single-Celled Organisms and Insects
   - Gas Exchange in Fish
   - Gas Exchange in the Leaf of a Plant
   - Circulatory System of a Mammal
   - Blood Vessels and their Functions
   - Movement of Water through Roots
   - Movement of Water up Stems
   - Transpiration and Factors Affecting it
   - Limiting Water Loss in Plants

Classification
   - Classification

Evidence for Relationships between Organisms
   - Genetic Comparison using DNA and Proteins
   - Courtship Behaviour

Adaption and Selection
   - Genetic Variation in Bacteria
   - Antibiotics
   - Antibiotic Use and Resistance

Biodiversity
   - Species Diversity
   - Species Diversity and Human Activities

Chemistry Paper 1

Atomic Structure
   - Fundamental Particles
   - The Arrangement of the Electrons
   - Mass Number, Atomic Number and Isotopes
   - The Mass Spectrometer
   - More about Electron Arrangement
   - Electron Arrangements and Ionisation Energy

Amount of Substance
   - Relative Atomic and Molecular Masses, the Avogadro Constant and the Mole
   - The Ideal Gas Equation
   - Empirical and Molecular Formulae
   - Moles in Solution
   - Balanced Equations and Related Calculations
   - Balanced Equations, Atom Economies and Percentage Yields

Bonding
   - The Nature of Ionic Bonding
   - Covalent Bonding
   - Electro-Negativity; Bond Polarity in Covalent Bonds
   - Metallic Bonding
   - Forces Acting Between Molecules
   - Hydrogen Bonding
   - States of Matter: Gases, Liquids and Solids
   - Bonding and Structure; Summary
   - The Shapes of Molecules and Ions

Periodicity
   -The Periodic Table
   - Trends in the Properties of Elements of Period 3
   - More Trends in the Properties of Elements of Period 3
   -A Closer Look at Ionisation Energies

Introduction to Organic Chemistry
   - Carbon Compounds
   - Nomenclature
   - Isomerism

Alkanes
   - Alkanes
   - Fractional Distillation of Crude Oil
   - Industrial Cracking
   - Combustion of Alkanes

Chemistry Paper 2

Energetics
   - Endothermic and Exothermic Reactions
   - Enthalpy
   - Measuring Enthalpy Changes
   - Hess' Law
   - Enthalpy Changes of Combustion
   - Representing Thermochemical Cycles
   - Bond Enthalpies

Kinetics
   - Collision Theory
   - Maxwell-Boltzman Distribution
   - Catalysts

Equilibria
   - The Idea of Equilibrium
   - Changing the Conditions of an Equilibrium Reaction
   - Equilibrium Reactions in Industry

Redox Reactions
   - Oxidation and Reduction
   - Oxidation States
   - Redox Equations

Group 7, The Halogens
   - The Halogens
   - The Chemical Reactions of the Halogens
   - Reactions of Halide Ions
   - Uses of Chlorine

Group 2, The Alkaline Earth Metals
   - Physical and Chemical Properties

The Extraction of Metals
   - The Principles of Metal Extraction
   - Extracting Other Metals

Haloalkanes
   - Introduction
   - Nucleophilic Substitution in Haloalkanes
   - Elimination Reactions in Haloalkanes
   - The Formation of Haloalkanes

Alkenes
   - Alkenes
   - Reactions of Alkenes
   - Polymerisation of Alkenes

Alcohols
   - Introduction
   - Ethanol Production
   - Reactions of Alcohols

Analytical Techniques
   - Mass Spectrometry
   - Infra-Red Spectroscopy

Core Maths 1

Algebra and functions
Quadratic Functions
Equations and Inequalities
Sketching Curves
Equations of a Straight Line
Sequences and Series
Differentiation
Integration

Core Maths 2

Algebra and Functions
Sine and Cosine Rule
Exponentials and Logarithms
Mid-point of Line, Distance Between Two Points, Equation of Circle
Binomial Expansion
Radians
Geometric Sequences and Series
Trigonometric Functions
Differentiation
Trigonometrical Identities and Simple Equations
Integration

Statistics 1 - DONE

Mathematical Modelling in Probability and Statistics
Representation of Sample Data
Methods for Summarising Sample Data (Location)
Methods for Summarising Data (Dispersion)
Probability
Correlation
Regression
Discrete Random Variables
The Normal Distribution

Statistics 2

Binomial and Poisson Distributions
Continuous Random Variables
Continuous Distributions
Hypothesis Tests

Further Pure Maths 1

Complex Numbers
Numerical Solutions of Equations
Coordinate Systems
Matrix Algebra
Series
Proof by Mathematical Induction

Decision Maths 1 - DONE

Algorithms
Graphs and Networks
Algorithms on Graphs
The Route Inspection Problem
Critical Path Analysis
Linear Programming
Matchings
Flows in Networks

...But I do need to post. Well, 3 months is slightly longer than a week don't you think? I must admit, I did forget about livejournal again. Not completely mind you, I still thought about it now and then, but it quickly left my mind. Now I'm writing because I really don't want to leave it much longer in between posts - it must not get like my hand written diary! I think I only wrote 3 entries in the entirety of last year. At least it makes amusing reading; I can't believe what a whiny brat I was when I was 13. My god did I think I had things hard. "Oh no I don't know what to choose for GCSE". I don't know what I want to do at Uni now and I have to apply in a few months! That's a bigger problem (still not huge though XP).

Basically, I'm sick again. No idea why - just woke up on Tuesday feeling like shit and to be honest, like I'd had too much to drink. The similarities to the last time I was at the CI was overwhelming. The only difference is that I knew I hadn't really drunk any alcohol in the last 2 months, so I wasn't hungover. Get ready for some major whining:

So Tuesday I was nauseous all day, didn't eat a thing (That PROVES I'm sick). I also stupidly watched an episode of ER in which someone commited suicide, and as I was emotional anyways from being ill I just played that scene over and over in my mind for hours. Not really the best thing to do when you're already not feeling well.

Yesterday I did feel quite a bit better. I had a shower and washed my hair, actually got changed into normal clothes rather than my pyjamas and felt fresher. I did manage to eat a little for breakfast, slightly less at lunch, then mum bought me a crunch corner for tea (I had been craving them and grapes). However by the evening I was ready to faint from not eating on Tuesday. I knew I had to eat something, but I just couldn't! I really didn't want to eat anything.

Today I'm feeling in between those two days. I'm feeling a lot worse than yesterday, but not as bad as Tuesday. I'm still feeling quite faint and weak from lack of food, but I feel really sick so don't want to eat anything. I had some toast with tuna on and that's about all I can manage. Just realised it's after 2 - I can have more meds now ^___^.

I'm not supposed to be on the internet like this, but I'm bored. My parents have a rule - if you're too sick to be off school, you're too sick to be on the computer. Usually that's because my room alternates between being the north pole and the sahara desert, but I can see their point. I was allowed on the laptop though to watch Hana Yori Dango, and yesterday that was fine. I've only got 3 1/2 episodes left of the second series too watch. Today though, I'm finding it extremely hard to concentrate on that. Hence me using IE for that and firefox for this - so I can clear all web data and they'll never know I was on anything other than HYD.

Looking at the computer screen is making me feel sick though, but I'm so bored that I'm doing it anyway. I did reply to a few roleplay posts, but people are so slow in replying! I really wish they'd answer so I'd have something else to write. Else I might end up doing god knows what.

On a completely unrelated note, I have my AS level examinations in just over 7 weeks. Am I prepared? No. Am I worried that I'm not prepared and know it's all my fault? Yes. Am I doing anything about this? No. WHY AREN'T I DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?!? I'm seriously going to kill all chances of getting into Cambridge, which honestly at the moment I don't even know what I want to do at uni, so I don't know why I keep wanting to go there. I know uni isn't for everyone, but I have no idea what I'd like to do so I really do need to do something that will get me a job. Last week I was telling everyone I wanted to do Asian and Middle Eastern Studies, which I really did! But since I've been sick I've been of the mentality "aww screw it, I can't be bothered". Not good!

As I stated in my very first post in this livejournal, I don't write nearly as well or as much as I'd like to. All my life I've had dreams of being a writer, either as a novelist or a journalist, but the truth is it's probably never going to happen. I'm one lazy SOB and I have no idea how to change that! Recognising the problem isn't enough - I just procrastinate too much. A laptop might help I suppose - at least then when I'm awake in the night I could be writing rather than watching Live at the Apollo marathons or whatever else is on Dave at the time.

God being sick sucks.

FULL HOL NAME: Aylarah Scale
HOUSE: Ravenclaw
YEAR: Second
BLOOD: Pureblood
WAND: 11.25" Ash and Phoenix Feather


FAMILY BACKGROUND: Aylarah's mother and father loved to travel. They disappeared on a trip to Kenya when she was four years old and she doesn't know whether or not they are alive. She has lived since then with her father's sister, Elsbeth, a strict old witch who believes in Pureblood superiority. Elsbeth has always taken quite a distant approach to raising Aylarah. She has never been the most approachable person, although loves Aylarah dearly, and so Aylarah spent a lot of time on her own growing up. Due to this she fell in love with reading and playing the piano. Aylarah and her aunt are both wealthy, Aylarah in her own right from the inheritence she has gained, and reside in one of the three unplottable Scale Manors somewhere near the Lake District, where the Scales have lived for centuries. Both her maternal grandparents are dead but Aylarah does see her paternal grandparents quite often. Apart from Elsbeth she has no other aunts or uncles, and no cousins. Although her aunt and grandparents were hoping that she would be put in Slytherin like the rest of the Scale family had been, Aylarah was sorted into Ravenclaw last year and couldn't be happier.

PET: Small, completely black cat called Jacob who is 3 years old, and an eagle owl called Rowen who she got from her aunt upon her being sorted into Ravenclaw.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Aylarah is quite tall for her age, around 5 feet 6 inches. She is of a slender build but not too skinny and has mid-length rich brown hair and brown eyes. She has a freckle on the palm of her left hand.

PSYCHOLOGICAL DESCRIPTION: Aylarah can be quiet and quite shy when you first meet her, due to her being on her own for the majority of her childhood. However once she gets to know you and feels more comfortable in your presence Aylarah can become rather more excitable and louder. She doesn't like activities involving very large groups of people, preferring the company of just a few close friends or herself. She is usually quite calm and relaxed and it takes quite a lot to make her very angry or riled up.

SPECIAL POSSESSIONS: Her grand piano, a present for getting into Hogwarts, which is a possession that can't really be moved around much. She also has a little, gold, oval shaped locket with a picture of her mother and father in, which she keeps safely locked away.

WHAT IS YOUR BEST MAGICAL TALENT? Brewing potions is definitely Aylarah’s best magical talent, as well as her favourite, closely followed by Herbology. Due to her talent at these subjects Aylarah’s dream is to have a career to do with healing when she graduates Hogwarts, either as a Healer or brewing potions for use in healing.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST MAGICAL TALENT? Charms. She can work them out with time, but rarely gets them right on her first try (or her second, or her third).

WHAT IS YOUR BEST NON-MAGICAL TALENT? Playing the piano. Aylarah spent a lot of time playing and learning the piano as a child, which is shown in how well she plays it.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST NON-MAGICAL TALENT? Sports of any kind – Aylarah doesn’t really like exercise apart from walking, and doesn’t like large groups of people, so sports have never been something she’s enjoyed.

LIKES: Playing the piano, reading outside in the Scale Manor grounds with her cat Jacob, writing, listening to music, cooking, Herbology, gardening, potion making.

DISLIKES: Very loud people, large crowds, her family talking about pureblood supremacy, people insulting her parents.

PERSONA HISTORY (RPG HISTORY): None really.

Well I have been saying that I am going to write something for quite a while now, but just never gotten round to it. Now seems to be as good a time as any. Yes, it is one in the morning on new years day, but it's not like I have anything better to do. We had Beverly and Clive round until about half twelve, then they left and we started new year by washing the dishes XD. I'm quite bored to be honest. I thought that there'd be SOME people online, but everyone from the UK has gone to bed and everyone in America is leaving to go to parties

Wow, six weeks is bad. I really did mean to post in here a lot sooner than this. In fact, I had an entry lined up for the week after I last posted, filled with bits of wisdom such as "do not drink alcohol when you've only eaten soup" and things like that. Then I don't know, I just didn't have time to post, and I kept procrastinating.

I've been really sick this week, it's been like a bad cold but slightly different, and I thought I was getting lots better so I said I could go to Alex's sleepover tonight, because she's already had to postpone it once, but I've just gotten worse, so I had to cancel. I feel a bit bad about that because I told Becci I could go, but at the same time, I'm kind of glad. I mean, I wanted to go, but then again, I didn't. I know it sounds completely bitchy, but Laura and Amy and someone else was going to be there as well that I don't talk to that often, and I just couldn't see it being as fun as it might have been. I feel bad that I think that, but it's true.

I started to attempt NaNoWriMo and it's failed. I've only got less than 10 days left and I've written less than 3000 words. Maybe next year I'll do it. The story that I've started I do want to finish though, but my aim is to get it finished by the time I go to university, because this is a story that I really do want published.

One good thing about being ill is that I've had the chance to watch some more films and read a lot more books than I usually would. I'm going to try and keep that up. Now I've really got to go and do my HOL homework and copy up the notes that I've missed, or I'm going to fall really far behind because I've been off all week. I know this is a shorter post than usual but I'm going to try and post again soon.

Hehe it's getting to be a habit for me to leave it a week before posting here. It's not really my fault, I just have so much to do during the week! I had to come home from school early yesterday because I felt like I was going to either faint or throw up. I'm getting over a cold and I'd just been burning the candle from both ends as my dad likes to say - I've had to get up early for school but I've been up all night doing homework. I'm going to have to find a way to sort everything out because I didn't even get the chance to do any music practice this week.


Thursday was really bad for me. I was getting more worked up and tired and became extrememly snappy in school, so much so that JONATHON told me off for being so sarcastic. If he complains about THAT then you know it's bad. The afternoon was good, we went to the Stag and Rainbow for a meal which was really nice (and really cheap! £10 for a 3 course meal!) and then Becci, Jamie and I went to the cinema and saw Pineapple Express. It was such a funny and pointless film! I especially enjoyed the bit where one of the guys had to drive the car whilst his foot was stuck through the window. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. The only thing wrong was the end of the day. Becci's dad said that he was going to phone at 7pm and then come and pick us up, but he rang Becci at 7.30 and said that he'd be at least 30 minutes! It just got frustrating because I was tired and not feeling too well, and I had a lot of homework to do. I mean once I got in I only managed to get one item done - a presentation on the history of western (mainly classical) music. It took me over 2 hours to do so I just gave up on doing the other things.


On another note, Dodo came out of hospital today. She had the 'procedure' yesterday and is going to stay at ours for a few days, so I think Olivia's going to have to stay in my room. That will be a bit of a pain <_<. By that I mean Olivia staying in my room, not Dodo staying at our house. Hmm, if that's the case, I really need to tidy my room. It's a mess. I would tidy it tomorrow but I don't know if I'll have the time - I've got to do my homework, do some music practice, make a cake for Becci, AND I'm meant to be going to lazer quest with her in the afternoon. I'm going because it's her birthday, but I don't know if it's my thing. It's not something I'd really think of doing myself, and to me it's something that you'd do for your birthday when you're around 12 or 13, not turning 17. But as I said, it is HER birthday, not mine. I took The Complete Novels of Jane Austin out of the school library the other day, because for some reason I had the overwhelming desire to read Sense and Sensibility, but I couldn't find it anywhere in the house! I also started reading The Picture of Dorian Grey, but I've put that on hold until I've finished Sense and Sensibility, because if I'm late in taking that back to the library I'll have a fine to pay <_<. I've also looked up the link for Lost in Austin, because it's meant to be quite funny. Also on my list of things to read and watch: Torchwood Season 2, The Big Bang Theory, The Importance of Being Earnest, Ouran High School Host Club, Eyeshield 21, Vampire Knight, Dogma, Spirited Away, and I HAVE TO DO MY HOL HOMEWORK BECAUSE IT'S DUE IN ON TUESDAY!!!!!!

Well I'm finding it hard to think what order to write everything in. I've been wanting to post an entry for a couple of days now, but I've been so busy that I've really not had the time. I've actually been feeling guilty for not writing, because I really do feel like I need to keep this up.

Today has been a really mixed day feelings wise. In orchestra I noticed that I've really started to improve with my viola playing, and this was also something I noticed in my lesson last night. I'm finding sight reading much easier than I used to, and the speed of it is improving. I'm no longer terrified when I look at a piece of music! We have the tune in Greensleaves which was a nice change, and I haven't really found any of the pieces this term to be very difficult, which I did when I started.

But then when we got back from town came the bad part of the day. We had a message on our answer machine from aunty Dot telling us that aunty Dodo had been taken into hospital, something about her head bleeding and being unwell. The message was muffled so we couldn't really understand what was being said and that really made it all worse I think. Because I didn't know how she was, I was really worried. I still am, but it's calmed down a bit. Since then we've found out that they have done blood tests and tested her heart and they're fine, so they don't really know what's wrong with her. Mum and dad have gone to visit her and Olivia and I are going to go tomorrow, so I should know some more when they get back. Talking to mum and Becci, we think it might be stress related, especially when she goes blank for a few seconds. Becci and I were saying that we think it might be a way for her brain to say "STOP or I'm going to stop for you" She never rests!

But then I got some good news off different people which sort of counteracted the nerves and made me feel better. One of my friends off HOL Keety said that her boyfriend proposed to her the other day and so they're going to get married in February. I'm really very happy for them, wish I lived in America right now >_<. But Keety said that she's going to get lots of photos taken which I can see. Also Sadie's had a good few days which made me happy as well. She went the symphony last night and really enjoyed herself, and the happiness comming off the both of them practically made me giddy. Happiness is contagious.

However I'm still not as happy as I would have been had I not been told about Dodo. I was just so worried when I first found out that I was even thinking to myself 'If you let her be alright I'll do my piano and viola practice everyday I promise'. I mean, I know me playing my instruments won't really do an awful lot to help Dodo, but I just felt that she likes my piano and I don't try enough with the viola, so I thought that if only I try at something that I should, maybe she'll get better. I just paniced.

On a completely different note I've just decided to attempt NaNoWriMo this year. I don't think I'll manage to write 50,000 words but I'll give it a go. I really do want to do as much writing as possible because I used to be really creative and now I'm not really so much. So I've currently got 4 HOL library things to do, 1 HH application, NaNoWriMo plan, and an Alte. article to do. I'm going to try and get started on quite a few of them tonight. At least now I'm writing this, livejournal is no longer on my immediate list.

I also have lots of HOL homework still to do. I don't really mind that I'm not as on top of it as I was last year, so long as I do complete everything. If I don't then I'll just feel like I'm letting myself down. Another thing because of HOL is that I've got so many things that I want to read or see, that I'm really going to have to note them down because I won't remember them. I don't think I'll get through them either, but oh well. At least I'll be writing.

I've set my mood here as contemplative but I'm not really sure how I feel. I'm contemplating that.

So this week has been my first week back at school, and they don't half throw us in at the deep end now do they? I think I've written around 40 A4 pages of notes already, not including the lessons where we've only used printed sheets, and I've only been back 4 days! I'm going to need to buy loads more paper before this year is out.

I'm not really sure if we've been given a lot of homework or not though. We were given quite a lot of biology homework but part of that was to revise prokaryotic cell structure which was actually quite easy, and the hardest thing with that was remembering the word acetyl-glucosamine. That part of the homework was because we were tested on it in today's lesson (only our second biology lesson as well <_<) and I think it was mainly to help us remember what we're learning. The other part of our biology homework (the big part) is to research and write detailed notes on the following: cell membrane, nucleus, endoplasmic reticulum, ribosomes, mitochondria, golgi apparatus, lysome, microbodies, cell wall, chloroplasts, large central vacuoles, endocytosis, exocytosis and pinocytosis. She wants pictures as well, so that should take me a few hours over the weekend.

Then we've also got chemistry homework, which is also to write some notes and do some exercises, but I don't feel like it's that much (even though it's more than I ever got last year) and in maths we've only been given one piece of homework even though we've had 4 teachers. Note: Just done this homework (the chemistry), and it took around about an hour but wasn't too bad. There was hardly anything to do on the sheet and the notes were just bulletpoints.

Overall though, school hasn't been that bad. The lessons are interesting because we're covering things we've never done before and also the attitude seems different. No one messes around in any of my lessons because they all want to work and do well. The only exception to this so far is general studies because of the overall atmosphere of our first lesson. Children were screaming in the yard outside, the teacher wasn't prepared for us as she didn't think we were starting for another week, and no one really knew what we were meant to be doing. Hopefully tomorrow's lesson should be a bit bettter.

The timetable still isn't sorted out completely, my Japanese lesson and RE lesson haven't been added in yet, though they might be tomorrow. The school has messed part of it up though. Our year is meant to have PE on a Wednesday either period 2 or period 3, but for some of us they've given us another lesson in both of those periods. I think that they're either going to add another PE time or they're going to move me into the earlier ECDL class so I have PE lesson 2, but I personally hope that they're just going to let us skip PE. I don't really think that's going to happen though.

I had my first piano lesson for this year today. Not much happened as Jolande hadn't brought in the grade 8 pieces for me to hear, so we went over the first lot of scales I have to learn and then talked about our holidays and my A level choices. I think it's quite strange that I'm more worried about the viola, but that's mainly because I'm now the only viola in Liverpool Youth Orchestra. It's a bit daunting because I know that they'll get one of the teachers to play with me in concerts, but I don't want to play viola solos on my own and also I'm worried that I'll mess up and Mrs Langford will tell me off in front of everyone. It's not as bad if there's someone else to take the blame with you, but if it's just me then everyone will know that it's me who keeps getting it wrong.

HOL's going fine, if rather slow. We were in last place for points for a while, but I think we've moved into third place. I'm not too worried as it is only ten days into term. I've submitted two of my homeworks but still have 3 to do and also  4 extra credits to do. It doesn't really matter if I don't submit them straight away though, as none of my teachers submit their points until the month after anyway. This year I am going to try and take part in as many library and art department projects as I can, as well as any newspaper things as I can. Part of this is to do with earning points, but the other part is I think it will help improve my creativity, and it will at least let me practice being creative.

Oh, on another note, we had the first meeting today about going to Lourdes. I really want to go but I just don't know how feasable it is because the cost will be around £600 and that's the same price as the trip to Prague. There will be fund raising events, more so for Prague than for Lourdes, but I don't know if I'll be able to raise that much money by next year. I managed it for China but that was with a lot of help from people. I was thinkning that maybe I should start teaching the piano soon. If I teach 6 pupils per week at £6 for half an hour then for 30 hours work I will have earned £360. Not bad, as that's a terms worth of lessons and it would half the cost of one of the trips.

It's 10pm now so I'm going to leave this here and try and get a little bit of free time in before I have to start thinking of bed. I think I've got a little longer tonight because mum, dad and Olivia are watching a film but I don't know what time that ends. It could be soon...

Nini! x x x x

Well today has been a great start to the week.  <_<

First day back at school so I recieved my timetable, and what do I see as my first lesson on a Monday? Triple further maths. This is followed by chemistry and then double maths to end the day, and thursday is exactly the same if you replace chemistry with biology. So on a Monday and Thursday I have 5 lessons of maths. It wasn't too bad, but double maths was quite demanding because Mr Pennington was making us do some exercises in a very short space of time, like 24 questions in 9 minutes. They were easy questions, it was just hard to actually get them all done in the time limit, and my hand was aching at the end.

By the time I got home my head felt like it was about to explode, which I thought was due to the amount of concentration I had needed during that last maths lesson, and then when I got to my room things got even worse. Mum had moved things around and had put up paper on one of the walls and had painted different colours onto it, even though I have told her so many times that I don't want to paint my room just yet. I just tore the paper from the wall and took it downstairs and told my mum off which she actually accepted.

My headache was getting worse and worse even though I was relaxing and drinking water, and I remembered something that was said in my Managing Your Mana class on HOL. If you stop drinking caffeine then you can get withdrawal symptoms like headaches. I think that might have been my problem because once I had a cup of tea I was ok, but I hadn't had one before then for around 8 hours. Over the summer holidays I had been drinking one every two hours or so, so I can see why I'd be getting whithdrawal symptoms.

Speaking of HOL homework I really do need to do mine soon. I mean I know I won't get the points until October but I'm not as on top of everything like I was last year. I'm a bit worried in case I let it get away from me and I end up not submitting some of it, because then I've got less chance of winning 3000 points over the year. But we'll see what happens.

I've also got to start botting again soon. I was thinking maybe I should try and do 100 a day? Sounds like a good enough target. I'm just slightly worried that I'll set myself a target that I won't stick to, so I'll feel like I'm letting myself down which I don't like to do. I am a lot better than I used to be though, well, especially since I only started a month or two ago <_<

I have fallen in love with Japanese pop music, the band Arashi to be specific. It's so uplifting and happy and cheesy and etc and it has one of the actors in Hana Yori Dango in it. I couldn't believe it when I found out he was 25, and Becci refuses to believe me. I'll have to show her the wiki article myself. Hana Yori Dango is being made into a film! I can't wait for it to come out, it's going to be great! It's such a great tv series and really funny. Plus Domuji or whatever his name is is just *gah*. <_<

Well I started this entry with my mood being cranky but that was an hour or two ago so it's changed to calm. As I said before on IRC - [20:23:44] <Aylarah> Caffeine + Shower + Internet = Resurrection.

So I think I'm going to go and bot for a little bit maybe, or find something else to do and procrastinate. Thank god I haven't got any homework yet!

I'm not really that good of a writer as I would like to be, and I think the reason is I just don't write enough. So I thought I'd give livejournal another go as writing a diary is meant to help and I type much quicker than I write by hand. I tried starting a blog the other day but I forgot what I was going to say so I kind of gave it up <_<

So this is going to be for both HOL and real life, even though I've used my HOL name for it. It gives me a bit more privacy this way in case anyone I know in real life comes across it and I've mentioned them in it. I don't really want something to use just as a 'dear diary' sort of thing, as that's not really me. I'm just going to try and write something often, hence the title 'random words forming random sentences'.

We went out for a meal and to the cinema the other day as an end of summer holidays thing. There was Becci, Jamie, Jonny, Sarah and I. Jonny didn't get my text until we were at the restaurant so didn't think he'd be able to make it but luckily he managed to turn up whilst we were half way through our starters, so he didn't miss much. The only problem was they outvoted me 4 to 1to watch the film The Strangers. The only reason they did this was because I said that I hate horror films, but to be honest it wasn't that scary, and it really isn't worth watching. Becci and Jonny realised just before the film started that they didn't want to see it either, so we were all stuck. Jonny HAD to say that what happens to the characters in the film is going to happen to us in the Lakes didn't he? I think Jamie and Sarah just laughed the entire way through.

We watched the last episode of Frasier tonight. I think it's quite fitting that I begin a new chapter of my life (starting my A levels) the day after I watch an episode where Frasier goes and starts a new chapter of his life. I just thought it was quite a nice coincidence. I'm not too annoyed about starting school tomorrow, as I don't mind the subjects I'm taking and I'm happy that they've cut down PE lessons to 50 minutes instead of an hour (how sad am I?). What I'm going to miss is sleep and having free time. I'll still have some free time, but not as much. I'll have homework to do and music practice <_<.

I'm going to leave this here for now because I've got other things I need to do before I go to bed.

Nini x x x